I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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