hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
