Porn is love you can see.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
