So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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