Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
