i would punch a child for taco bell
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
