You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
