She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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