Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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