he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
