5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i now understand why vodka
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
