I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
