Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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