Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
