He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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