hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i came on her dog
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
