Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
