Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
