If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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