I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
