marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
