I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize