what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
