I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
