This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
