Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
