I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize