I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
