i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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