You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
