He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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