it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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