just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize