Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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