and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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