the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
