I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
