chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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