how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
