they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
