Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
