you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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