who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
