try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
