cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
