His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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