Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
