I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
