Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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