She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
