5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize