1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
