do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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