I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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