Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize