he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
