Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
