just tell him i said nine months
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
