We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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