Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
