Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
