my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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